Chaela's suicide

Chaela couldn't breath. She was suffocating. How many nights had passed since he left her, to be alone against the world? She had tried looking for a lifeline, a small window of light to help her gain some hope, just to find it was an illusion, and that her heart didn’t want to beat anymore, her mind didn’t want to cast a vision of his face to her eyes, and the sound of his voice to her ears. No one cares, she thought. No one was there to hold her, not one to pull her from this prolonging sea of despair, to present some small light of hope. Was it something I said? She asked, looking down at the ring held tightly between her index finger and her thumb.
Everything about her had diminished. Her eyes no longer shined like stars, they had become glazed over, and looked like smoke had occupied them. Her hips no long held their sway, and the sweet smile that used to play her lips faded, and was no more. Her face had fallen dormant, showing no signs of life, like a tree in winter. Her heart didn’t beat for anyone anymore, just as her eyes had stopped looking for him to appear acrost the horizon. This was it, what it was like to be dead while alive. She had fallen apart; her mind was lost to the fantasy that was love. She couldn’t even look at the polo sweater he left, nor could she even step beside the bed where they slept once upon a fairy tale, that carried his sweet scent.
He was a drug to her, she never felt anything so strong, and now that had left. She was empty, and hallow. She couldn’t feel anything anymore, not the soft touch of grass against her skin, nor the shiver that the cold nights’ breeze sent over her bare skin. It would take nothing less than a miracle to save her, and he was to blame. If he ever came to me again.. she thought. She couldn’t finish that sentence. What would she do? Say a long verse of vulgarity at him? Open him with open arms? At this point, she would just open her mind to him. To tell him any and everything. She, in fact, had written note after not to him. Some hateful, some pleading like people in a desert praying for rain. One last time, she pressed her pen to paper, a final letter to him.
“Zeta…” it started, her heart protesting a bit, before she continued. “Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me to rot if you loved me so?” Each word was more and more difficult to write, her eyes brimmed with moisture and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself. “ You were my world, my reason for existing, and the reason my heart used to beat life though my body. I gave it to you, and you shattered it into a million pieces, leaving it to lay on the floor. Nothing matters anymore. Not the sweet taste of water that rushes down my throat to hydrate my body. Not the sting of loneliness that runs though my veins. The pain I feel every day, reminds me of what we had, and what loosing it reduced me to. I’m drowning, along, surrounded by enemies. If, you find this, I love you. But, I won’t be here to deliver it, or wait for your response. It’s not like you ever cared, your love was just a lie. Beautifully told to toy with my mind. But, I know I love you, and I can’t go on. I have to end this misery that engulfs my body. This, will be the last letter. Forever.” She stopped, hesitating on the last letter. She knew what she would do. At the close of her letter, she sealed it with a kiss and a tear on the crisp paper, neatly folded. Setting it gently on the pillow that he used to lay his head on, she walked to the bathroom where a pool of cool water welcomed her with open arms to her death.
She slid into the bathtub willingly, fully clothed. Slowly submersing herself in the water, not bothering to take a last breath of the air she didn’t crave to breath anymore, she simply peered out, at the ceiling. Her lungs started to burn, and protested against not having any air. Soon she would die; but who would save her?

A loud noise had occurred upon the castle’s doors, slamming on the walls as the man that had stepped between those doors was a man that had been locked in a sell for years named Zeta. His facial expression could tell everything, he was worried for the woman that he had asked to marry him, the woman that was suffering from his absences. He took a deep breath looking around with a small drop of sweat swaying its way down his cheek as he screamed" Chaela!" was the only thing that he said, quickly running towards the stairs skipping some steps as he was going as fast as he could towards their room which he had kicked the door open to see a sealed envelope on top of his pillow. He slowly walked towards it, looking at it knowing that this was just fresh from the wet surface from her lips that she had left. "She must be here somewhere." he said, his ears been able to hear the water move, quickly running towards the bathroom, seen a woman inside the water, quickly reaching his hands down the water. One hand rested on her neck as the other on her knees lifting her off the cold water. Setting her on the ground sharing his body heat with her own as he whispered. "I never meant to hut you, I am here I didn't leave on purpose. I am sorry please wake up my dear, please." he whispered waiting for some sign from her body to tell she was still alive.

Pale blue eye cracked open, the site blurry. Heaven; she thought. To feel his hands around her; to hear his voice. Coughing up a little bit of water, she clung and moved to face him. Taking in that familiar smell, she smiled. "If this is heaven; I'll take it.." She whispered. Not until she really looked up; and felt her damp cloths clinging to her body did she realize.. this wasn't heaven. She was really alive. "..Zeta?" She asked, her glazed over eyes finally seeing him. Had he really saved her? "W....where have you been?" She said, throwing her arms around him. Did she care he was gone anymore? No. All that mattered to her was here, now. The ring he placed on her finger was no longer there. She put it away, because she knew that he wasn't coming back. But he did; here he was. The most beautiful figment of her imagination, only.. he was really here. Shutting her eyes tightly, a small tear ran down her wet cheek. No long did she care he hurt her, no longer did she want to throw him out. She didn't want to move; she didn't want him gone even for a second again. Shivering much more then is normal, her small body that fit nicely into his pressed to him; looking for warmth that she would surely find.

Zeta smiled, watching her move in place, her skin cold from the water. Smiling he leaned forward kissing her cheek softly. "Calm down, you are not going to die on my, not today at least." he whispered, picking her up from the ground, removing all of the cold water from the tub and replacing it with warm water, slowly Zeta started to remove her clothing so she wouldn’t be as cold, setting her down on the warm water. "Now while I am gone to look for some clothing for you, don't try to kill yourself again, I need you to stay alive for me. Okay?" he whispered, slowly walking backwards to where their closet was. Everything was still in their spot, opening one bow he saw her small thong, a pair of pants, bra and a shirt. Getting it all returning back to the bathroom, folding them on a stack. Setting them on top of the toilet as he than kneeled down holding your hand in my as I stare into your eyes. "Why were you about to kill yourself my dear? You do know that if you were to die, I would not know what to do with my life right?" he said, lifting her palm up kissing the back of her palm slightly having his stormy blue eyes stare into her own waiting for her response.

The water trembled from Chaela's shivers; her slender legs finding her chest as she wrapped her arms around them. The burst of happiness that he had come back left; and worry replaced. Would he leave again? Would he stay... did he still care? Nodding to his statement, she stayed as she was, waiting for him to come back. Turning to face him; she bit down on her lip. "Because.. I thought you didn't want me anymore... and I just.....Didn't know what to do with myself... "She whispered, cringing a bit from his hand in hers. Sliding out of the water, she wrapped herself in a towel, and sat on his lap again. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she leaned her head onto his shoulder; just like old times.. "Never leave again... Please..." She said, not caring that she was still cold and soaked from the water, not caring that she was supposed to be mad.

He watched get off the water, watching her as he spread his legs open having her weight carry on his lap. His hands wrapped around her waist as he stared into her eyes nodding. "It wasn't my fault that I had left my dear, I was forced and dragged out of this place by a group of bandits that held be captive for years. But I was able to escape and come back to you." he whispered, raising one hand and setting it on your cheek, my thumb tracing the edge of the blood that had accumulated around your cheeks. "But now I am back, and I promise you that only death will be able to take me away from you my dear. Since it has been years since I last saw you, I must ask you once more this special question I got for you." he whispered, reaching down for your hand looking back up into your eyes with a charming smile spread wide across his lips. "Will you take me back as your man my love?" he asked his stormy blue eyes locked with your own waiting for your response.

He'd been held captive? Wh.....How... How could I have been so stupid? She thought. A rushing wave of guilt ran though Chaela, for thinking he'd left cause he wanted to. She couldn't look him in the eyes anymore, because of the guilt. "I'm... I'm so sorry.. for thinking you left willingly.." She whispered. ;Quickly taking the back of her hand, she whipped the blood off her cheeks; frowning slightly. How could he promise this? What if something happened again...What if he was taken from her? Could she live past it? "Don't promise...Please... If you break it.. I won't be able to recover" She said in a melancholy tone. Hearing the last bit of his statement, her dull-once- brilliant-ice-blue eyes snapped up, and did actually lock with his. How could he ask her that? Didn't he already know..? For the first time in months, the smile was to be seen. At first the motion felt wrong; but it wasn't. All she could do was nod, and smile. "Yes..." She said, leaning her forehead against his. Everything felt so wrong to her right now; Did she care? No. She was finally happy again.. nothing else mattered.

He chuckled at her words; he knew what she was thinking about the promise. His fingers slipped down to her jaw, lifting her head back up so she would be able to look at him dead in the eye. "That is not going to happen, because this time I will not let them take me once so ever unless they kill me and make sure I am dead, otherwise they will end up dead." he whispered. Having his hands slip to her back, his fingers trailing down her spinal cord eventually having his palm rest on her hips, his fingers wrapping around your butt cheeks sobbing them slightly as he heard your answer." I have always loved you; I have never once stopped loving you my dear. Although from what I can feel within you, you have slept with my friend Ace legend before." he whispered, shaking his head not wanting to think about the whole thing, simply wanting to be there for her through hard times and have her emotion fix in time with his help. He leaned forward, his lips brushing her own eventually having them press against one another.

"He was there when you weren't...." She said. Great, more guilt she said to herself. The tickling sensation of his hands at her hips didn't phase her as it used to; nor did that warm rush of lust run though her as his lips pressed to hers. Though she should have pulled away, she didn't. Her body pressed again to his, and her lips equally matching the pressure of his. To hear his 'never-ending' love made her feel even more chagrin, and made her angry with herself. How could she have done that to Zeta.. how could she have thought he was just a coward that left when he fell in love? The answers seemed to escape her. Pushing away from him gently she eyed the clothing. "I should get dressed.." said in a small voice, her eyebrows furrowed. Chaela couldn't really grasp what was going on.. was he mad at her for trying to be happy when he wasn't there.. would she have been angry at him if he did? Sighing and getting off his lap, she grabbed the cloths he'd laid out. Slowly puling them onto her body as her mind wondered, she paid little attention to him on the floor. Finally dressed, she reached her hand to him, offering to help him up. "I'm sorry... for everything." The small sweet whisper fell from her pink lips, like dead leaves off a tree.

He looked at her, hearing her words nodding. "yes you should get dressed, are you feeling better my love?" he asked her, watching her rise up from his lap and get dressed with the set of clothing that he had laid out for her on the toilet to wear. He than looked at the hand that had reached out for him, to help him stand up from where he was sitting. He grinned as he took her hand, pulling himself up, but as he did so he brought her closer to him. His hands rested on her hips as he grinned. "You have no idea how bad your death would have damaged me emotionally and physically if I didn't come here and stopped it from happening." he whispered taking her hand he pulled her out of the bathroom into their own room. Sitting his butt on the edge of the bed so he could stare at the beauty he had missed so much from her. "Chaela, I love you." he whispered into the room, the each bouncing off the walls so you could hear him clearly.

Chaela... he means it. He's trying to come back; why block him out? What is wrong.. you know he means it..Chaela had to tell herself, for him. She couldn't keep being distant.. that would hurt him. Taking a deep breath, everything went silent. Once, twice, Again. Letting go almost fully, she smiled softly. Letting him lead her to the bedside that they once occupied, she too no hesitation to sit and straddle his lap. How could she forget that face...? His lips.. his beautiful eyes. The echoing whisper took next to no time to reach her ears; and she smiled softly again. Starting to respond; the tiny voice came back. "Don't.. what if he leaves again?" it urged. Closing her eyes, she yelled back at it-figuratively- I don't care; before whispering "As I've always loved you..". Letting her lips seek and press to his; the sweet taste was overwhelming; though what can be expected, she hadn't been able to taste it for so long. "I'm glad you're home..."

As she had leaned forward to press her lips to his own, he could feel and hear everything that was been said within her mind. He knew that she either still loved Ace, or simply she didn't want him anymore or loved him the way she uses to. He kissed her back for a slight second, before he turned his face away to her. He knew she needed some prove to show her that he was really held captive. Slowly he reached down to the edge of his shirt, lifting it up showing some flesh cuts all over his back made from whips strikes on his back. "Now do you believe me?" he said before he placed the shirt back on and walk into the bathroom, closing the door on his way in removing his shirt. Some tears started to drip down to the sing from the confusion she was feeling. He slowly reached out towards the towel, wetting it with some alcohol and slowly start to disinfect his wounds that were made. Hearing some screams from the pain it had, but he knew it had to happen.

"...Oh Zeta.." She whispered, her fingers trailing over the raw skin, before being moved and watching him move swiftly to the bathroom. Knocking on it she sighed. She did love Ace.. once. Before he left her like Zeta did. Did she care if Ace was alive? No. Though.. did Zeta know that? Turning the doorknob slightly, she cringed back from it as he screamed, then quickly opened it, stopping his hand as the towel almost meet the skin. Grabbing the towel out of his hand, she looked up and nodded. "Yes.. I do..''. Prodding at the skin with a feather light touch, she put her cold hand on his back, where there was some skin that was spared. Gently putting the towel to his wounds, she waited to hear the screams again. Stopping for a second, she looked closer at him; fresh tear streaks had formed on his cheeks. Taking her free hand, she gently rubbed them away with her thumb, caressing his warm cheek. "You know I missed you terribly right?"

He took in deep breaths after he entered into the bathroom, looking himself into the mirror. His face seemed to be a monster to him, as if he was containing a strong beast within him. His gaze looked towards the door once the sound of your hand pounding on the door. Opening the door as I watch you stop me from touching myself with the towel. "Than why do you seem like you don't want me around, as if you would rather die than to see me here standing before you where I will never leave your side ever again?" he said, groaning in pain as well as his eyes shut down tight at the pain of the alcohol rubbing off against his wounds. "That hurts real badly, but I know I need it. I don't know if you missed me though, it doesn’t seem like you have missed me at all." he whispered sighing he eventually got use to the pain, looking down as the water on the sink was pure red from the blood that was removed from my back thanks to you. sobbing slightly as I wait for your response.

Still applying the towel here and there, She sighed and let him speak his mind. "Zeta... It's who i've become. I don't know how to fix it... I block everyone out. So I don't get hurt. With you coming home... I realize I can't stay blocked off anymore. Making those walls tumble is going to be hard... but I'll try my hardest. And if I didn't miss you, and if I didn't want you by my side, why would I have wasted all those feelings, of regerting what I had, thinking it was lost? If you regret losing something, or you're sad cause it's gone away.. there was something to lose. Something valuable to you. If we didn't and don't have what we did and still do.. I wouldn't have wasted the tears. And trust me.. I couldn't be happier that you're home." Putting down the towel, she grabbed his shoulder, gently making him turn around. Kissing here and there on his shoulder, his chest, and the base of his neck; she smiles a little bit. "I missed this too... I missed everything about you..your eyes.. your lips. Your smell.. your arms around me." She whispered, finally able to lock her eyes with yours; a genuine smile licking the edges of her lips.

His hands reached out towards the hanger that held another towel, wetting it wiping all of the dirt and dried up on his face. Removing it slowly hearing the words that had came off her lips. He slowly turned his body around, having his butt lay on top of the sink watching her and her moments. "I know, but you should at least be happy for me been here, at least show some sort of happiness?" he whispered, raining an eye brow trying to hold in a laughter from his lips. Eventually he could not hold it in anymore, laughing a little bit at her silliness. His arms wrapped around her hips, pulling her closer to him so she would be standing in-between her legs. "I love you, and I am glad I am back here to be with you my love." he whispered into her ear, licking the side of her face slightly.

"All the words I'd never say again.. I'm whispering into the night with you." She said against his cheek, kissing it with a smile on her lips; giggling softly at the lick. "I lost my self.. I lost my sense of wrong and right... I would shake from the pain... But here I stand.. with my body and soul; my unraveling mind sewn together. I love you, and I couldn't be happier that you're home." She said, puling back and putting her hands on either side of his face gently. Willingly pressing to his damaged body; she pressed her lips to his and whispered again "It's not over.. it was never over." Her fingertips ran down his jawline, over his neck and chest; and stopped at his waist. Smiling even more as that old tingling sensation that was to be felt whenever his hands rested upon her hips; Chaela hoped, that he was here to stay. "I'm trying my best, baby... I felt myself fading.. I died, only to rise again. I don't feel that anymore.. I owe you.. everything."

Zeta stared at his lover, his hand reaching out been placed upon her hips. Not been able to understand the first set of words she had said to him, but he would simply go with it. "My love, I know that you are still crushed from everything I have done to you, from leaving you than from my brother Ace making love to you and than disappearing from your life. I know it isn't fair, but I have returned here to your life, to make it what it once was, filled with happiness and love, something that no other woman had ever felt in the arms of their lover." he whispered, groaning from her touch as he sucked it up. "I love you my dear Chaela, and I will forever carry you in my heart until death do us apart." he said, staring into her eyes waiting for her response.

"I don't want everything perfect... everything around you has flaws, and trying to make everything perfect is useless. I just.. want this.. "She said, wrapping her arms around him, gesturing to his hands at her hips; their bodies close. "I want to wake up to your dazzling smile.. Whisper I love you at night. " Kissing at his shoulder; the very base of his neck. "I love you, Baby. I hope nothing happens so you have to leave again.." Stepping against him, then pressing down on his waist so as he'd sit down upon the toilet seat; she started to straddle his lap. Leaning her head onto her chest, this is where she sat; a smile licking the edges of her lips from the smell filling her nose.

The words made Zeta blush, been able to feel the love and passion that was begging for his love. He simply nodded, leaning forward pecking her lips softly, wanting her to have everything that she ever wanted, to make her smile even through hard times. "I think I know I can do that my love." he whispered, knowing that it would be the wrong time to do so right now, he did not have the one thing he actually needed to do what she wanted. "Soon you and I will share the love we have for one another, forever and beyond." he said, feeling my body been pushed down to a toilet, letting my self set my bottom upon the seat feeling your weight be placed upon my lap. A charming smile spread across his lips. Having one hand wrap around your waist as the other set its palm on the back of your head. His lips licked the edges of your lips softly until it met your own tongue; pulling back he leaned forward close enough to where his lips were on her ear. "I love you Chaela." He mumbled staying quiet for her to act towards his actions.